Since 2019, I've moved to Boston, Maine, New York, and Milwaukee. Moving to new cities taught me that making new friends as an adult comes from making yourself familiar.
The Strategy
When I move again, here are the 3 things I'll do:
- Become a regular at a few places I like
- Join an activity where people are opting into meeting new people
- Do something publicly in the neighborhood that is true to my values
What Worked
In Boston I joined a running club.
In Maine I introduced myself to neighbors I saw on walks (covid times). In New York I painted at the same coffee shop until people started talking to me.
And in Milwaukee I picked up trash in my neighborhood, posted about it, and became a regular at a yoga studio and coffee shop.
The Truth
Not everyone is interested in making new friends, or being your new friend.
But by making yourself familiar, your people will find you and making the first move is more natural.
Your Turn
The bottom line? Making friends as an adult isn't about luck. It's about showing up consistently, being visible, and staying true to who you are. Your people will find you when you make yourself familiar.
By becoming a regular, joining activities, and doing something publicly that reflects your values, you create natural opportunities for connection.
If you've moved to a new city as an adult, how did you make your first friend?